After the Dance
by Caylen
Summary: Post-Drop the World. Fiona and Holly J may have come to terms at the dance, but is everything really resolved with them?  Fiona still has feelings for Holly J and Holly J is trying to feel comfortable with the situation, starting with the sleepover. F/HJ.
1. Sleepover at Fiona's Loft

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Sleepover at Fiona's Loft_

Fiona tugged off her shoes as she fell back onto the couch cushion between Anya and Holly J.

"Gosh it hurts to look fabulous sometimes, doesn't it?" Fiona smiled, referring to her gorgeous red heels.

"Definitely," agreed Holly J, slipping off her heels as well. "But totally worth it as we were the three hottest girls at the dance." She stood up. "I'm going to go get changed, be back in a minute." Holly J closed the bathroom door behind her.

"So how mad at me are you?" Anya asked Fiona hesitantly.

"I don't know," Fiona sighed, looking down. "Maybe it's better she knows; she told me she wants everything to stay the same."

"Do you want that?" Anya probed.

"I guess so," Fiona didn't seem so sure. "It's not like I expected her to want to be with me, I'm not impractical. But it feels awkward having her know; it's going to be hard to not feel exposed and uncomfortable around her. Plus, she did act weirdly around me at first, so who knows if she can really keep our friendship the way it is." Fiona frowned, "She probably feels even more uncomfortable than me."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Anya admitted, patting Fiona's shoulder. "I was afraid Holly J was leading you on and I guess I just thought she could be a little more subtle about the way she acts around you."

"What way does she act?" Fiona looked puzzled.

"Well, you know–" Anya trailed off.

"No…" Fiona continued. "What?"

"Well, flirty, I guess," Anya said. "Plus she spends practically every waking moment with you," she added.

"She flirts with me?" Fiona whispered more to herself than to Anya. She smiled slightly.

"Oh, um…" Anya stammered, realizing she may not have articulated what she intended to.

But before she could correct herself, Holly J reappeared in the room, looking cozy in her pajamas. "So what movie should we watch?"

"Whatever you want, how about you pick while Anya and I get changed," Fiona smiled at her, pulling Anya off the couch by the arm.

"Sure," Holly J said, looking slightly puzzled as Fiona pulled Anya into her bedroom and slid the door closed.

"So do you think Holly J acts differently with me than she does with other girls?" Fiona asked, looking hopeful.

Anya sat on the end of the bed and sighed. "Look Fiona, I don't want to get your hopes up; I really don't think Holly J means anything by the way she acts around you, she just wasn't aware of your feelings and that's why I told her."

"Oh," Fiona looked disappointed, "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I should give her some space to make her more comfortable."

"Maybe," Anya agreed. "Or maybe you should just talk about everything with her. You know, clear the air. Even if it's uncomfortable at first, it may help you two get back to normal."

Fiona nodded, still a little frustrated with herself for getting her hopes up. "Maybe."

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><p>The two girls returned to the living room in their pajamas. Fiona walked toward an arm chair at the far end of the room. As she did so, Holly J, who had made herself comfortable in the middle of the couch, motioned to Fiona. "Sit here," she patted the seat next to her. "I picked a scary one; I'm going to need you next to me when I get freaked out."<p>

Anya gave Holly J a look, but Holly J just rolled her eyes. "Sit, sit! And don't worry Anya; I saved the other side for you."

Fiona backtracked and plopped down next to Holly J, returning her grin, while Anya sat on her other side. Holly J immediately put her head on Fiona's shoulder and held out the remote to start the movie. Fiona glanced over at Anya, who shrugged her shoulders in return. Fiona tried to relax but couldn't help but notice her heart beating slightly faster than usual.

* * *

><p>As the movie credits began rolling, Anya interrupted the silence. "So what are the sleeping arrangements again?"<p>

Holly J looked to Fiona to answer, but when she noticed she looked nervous, Holly J stated, "Oh well, I'll share the bed with Fi and you can have the couch out here, is that ok?"

Fiona and Anya both nodded slowly and Fiona got up from the couch with Holly J.

"Have a good night you two," Anya called after them, in what Fiona thought sounded like a sarcastic tone, as they went into Fiona's bedroom. Holly J slid the door closed behind them, which surprised Fiona, since she was planning to leave it open.

"Hey," Holly J said, sitting down on the bed. "How am I doing?"

Fiona had already slid under the covers and turned her head to look at her, confused.

"The last thing I want is for things to be uncomfortable for you," Holly J elaborated.

"Well, I'm trying not to feel uncomfortable," Fiona said. "But don't you feel even more uncomfortable around me?"

"Honestly, I felt weird at first, but when I think about it, I'm more flattered than anything else." Holly J admitted as she laid down facing Fiona, pulling the covers over her.

"Really?" Fiona asked.

"Yeah," Holly J smiled at her, "I mean, you're gorgeous, you're caring, and you're such a good person. That's why you are my best friend."

Fiona blushed. "So you're my friend because you think I'm gorgeous?" Fiona attempted to make a joke to cover her initial reaction.

Holly J laughed. "You know what I mean. But believe me I'd much rather have it be you than some guy I'm not interested in. If I was interested in girls, you'd definitely be my first choice."

Fiona's heart skipped a beat and she could feel herself blushing again. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we can still talk honestly like this, but you probably shouldn't say stuff like that to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Holly J apologized. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything–"

Fiona cut her off. "No, no, believe me I'm not offended. I like that you said that, but I think I like it too much. When you talk like that it makes me want to…" she trailed off.

"What?" Holly J asked.

"I don't want to say," Fiona said, clutching her hot cheeks, "I'm so embarrassed; I can't help it. I just wish I could turn off all these feelings for you and we could have a normal friendship. They are driving me crazy."

"Would it help if you told me what you are feeling?" Holly J suggested. "I'll keep an open mind; I won't get freaked out by whatever you have to say. Maybe then we can get passed it."

"I don't know…" Fiona looked away, doubting Holly J's ability to hear her inner-most thoughts and be alright with them. "Are you sure you could handle hearing this? I kind of… feel intensely."

"You don't have to tell me anything if it'll make you feel worse," Holly J assured her. "But you can if you want to."

"Okay," Fiona bit her lip. She took a deep breath. "Whenever you compliment me or you sit extra close or even just give me a little smile, I really have to fight the urge to reach out and pull you toward me and kiss you full on the lips. I think about kissing you all the time, I even have dreams about it. Having you in my bed like this is so hard for me because all I want to do is pull you close and touch every part of you; I want to caress the soft skin on your neck and slide my hand down your shoulder and trace my fingertips down your arm. I want to feel the hot surface of your skin on your back and kiss your neck and run my fingers through your hair. I want to take off all your clothes and just take in your beauty. I feel like I have never felt before; I feel giddy around you and I want to spend all my time with you no matter how difficult it is to resist all of this. Most of all, I want to see you smile and I want you to be happy, even though I know that means not being with me like I want to be with you." Tears streamed down Fiona's face. She had never in her life expressed such honest feelings and she felt more vulnerable than ever before.

Holly J stared at her in what Fiona assumed must've been shock. "Wow…" she whispered. "I guess I was wrong; that was not the right way to get us to the point of having a normal friendship."

And then Holly J leaned forward and kissed Fiona full on the lips.

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><p><em>Please read and review! Fiona and Holly J have been my favorite pairing for a while and I hope I did them justice in this fanfic. Let me know if you'd like me to continue the story!<em>


	2. Kissing and Wanting More

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Kissing and Wanting More_

Fiona couldn't believe what was happening. This was so much better than the kiss in the courtroom because Holly J had actually initiated this kiss.

Fiona kissed her back eagerly. After a few seconds she felt butterflies in her stomach, which made her even more excited. Fiona reached out and put one hand on Holly J's back, pulling her close so that their bodies were pressed up against one another. The feeling of Holly J's breasts touching hers gave her a pang of the feeling of euphoria she had only before achieved through touching herself. Fiona gently placed her other hand on Holly J's cheek, guiding the angle of her jaw so that her mouth would slightly open. Fiona slid her tongue into Holly J's mouth and was delighted to find it quickly entangled with hers.

Holly J moaned. Her soft sound of pleasure sent Fiona over the top. Their tongues continued to intertwine and Fiona's mind began to race with everything she wanted all at once. She want to rip her tank top off to feel the warm, hidden skin underneath it, to kiss her neck, to feel her breasts, to lick her nipples, even to thrust her fingers inside of her. And at that moment, Fiona could not think of anything more satisfying than causing Holly J's orgasm. But she knew her mind was moving too fast.

Holly J pulled away for a moment and Fiona stared at her wide-eyed, afraid she'd somehow read her mind. "Fiona," she said softly.

"Yeah?" she managed to mumble, her head still spinning.

"What are you thinking?" Holly J asked.

"Oh, well… mostly wow," Fiona stumbled for the words, though smiling. "What about you?"

Holly J was a bit hesitant. "Um, yeah, that was really, really… wow."

Fiona beamed. "So we're in agreement. This is so amazing; I never thought this would happen." She leaned in and kissed Holly J softly on the neck.

"Hold on a moment, Fi," Holly J stopped her. "I never thought this would happen either."

Fiona lifted her head slowly and rested it on her arm, looking at Holly J curiously. "But you kissed me."

"Yes, I know, but you were saying such wonderful, seductive things; I couldn't help it." Holly J claimed.

Fiona was taken aback. "I didn't mean it that way; I was just being honest… like you wanted me to be."

"I know; I'm sorry." Holly J took a deep breath. "I'm just a little freaked by what just happened. I mean, I'm straight, right? Why did I kiss you? And why did it feel so good?"

"Maybe we can figure all that out if we give it another try?" Fiona suggested, smirking.

Holly J couldn't help but smile back. "A goodnight kiss, that's it. We should get some sleep."

Fiona smiled brilliantly at being given the chance to kiss her again. She climbed up and laid her chest on top of Holly J to give her one last kiss. She grazed her mouth against Holly J's and then devoured her bottom lip, sucking on it lightly. Holly J kissed her back intensely for a few moments, and then pulled away once again.

"You're beautiful, Holly J." Fiona told her, gazing into her eyes.

"Thanks," Holly J blushed and looked away.

Fiona rolled back over to her designated side of the bed, smiling to herself. "Goodnight Holly J."

"Goodnight Fiona," Holly J whispered. She shut her eyes but found it difficult to turn off her mind long enough to go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Holly J awoke before Fiona the next morning, although she was far from rested. She felt just as confused as she did last night. She quietly snuck out of bed and into the living room without waking Fiona. "Hey, Anya, wake up," Holly J whispered, nudging her shoulder.<p>

Anya slowly opened her eyes. "What?" she asked groggily.

"I have to talk to you about something," Holly J said, sitting down on the couch next to her.

Anya forced herself to sit up. "Where's Fiona?" Anya spoke somewhat loudly, looking around for her.

"Shhh, that's what I have to talk to you about," Holly J hissed. "Something… happened last night."

Anya woke up instantly. "What happened?"

"Well… we were talking in bed and then… we um, kissed." Holly J muttered uncomfortably.

Anya's eyes bulged out of her sockets, "Oh my god, Fiona kissed you again?"

"Not exactly, I kind of, well… kissed her," Holly J mumbled, almost inaudibly.

"Oh my god!" Anya yelled. "You kissed her? Really?"

"Be quiet, Anya, geez," Holly J scolded. "Yes, I did. And now I'm really confused."

"What kind of kiss was it?" Anya asked curiously.

Holly J blushed. "It was really, really good; that's what freaks me out the most."

"Well then you're a lesbian too I guess," Anya said plainly. "Now all my friends are gay."

"I'm not a lesbian," Holly J hissed. "I may not have loved Sav, but I loved Declan, I know that for sure."

"Well then you have a thing for hooking up with twins?" Anya suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ah, ew, I didn't even think of that!" Holly J grimaced. "I made out with my ex-boyfriend's twin sister! This is really bad, right?"

"It doesn't have to be," Anya said supportively. "If you really liked kissing Fiona, then you shouldn't stop just because she happens to be the twin sister of your ex or because she happens to be a girl for that matter. It doesn't have to label you as lesbian, twin-chaser, or even bisexual. You don't have to have a label unless you want one."

"Twin-chaser?" Holly J frowned and pondered the rest of her statement for a moment. "I guess that makes sense though."

"But what made you kiss her anyway?" Anya probed with a grin.

"Well I came up with the lovely idea of having her tell me the details of how she feels about me so we could move past it," Holly J laughed. "But the stuff she said, it was so… I don't know how to put this in a not embarrassing way–it was just so hot. I couldn't help it; it made me want to jump on her." Holly J blushed deeply.

"So Fi's got a way with words then," Anya giggled, making Holly J turn even redder. "Why don't you go back in there and wake her up?"

"Yeah, okay, thanks Anya," Holly J said sincerely. "You've made me feel a lot better."

* * *

><p>Holly J quietly slid the door closed behind her after entering Fiona's bedroom again, then tiptoed to the side of the bed where she slept and knelt beside her.<p>

Holly J stared for a moment at the curly, dark hair fallen over Fiona's face and reached out and slipped it behind her ear. "You are unbelievably gorgeous, Fi," she whispered.

A grin spread across the supposedly sleeping girl's face. "Thanks… twin-chaser." Fiona chuckled.

Holly J's face fell. "You heard all that?"

"Yeah, you woke me up when you left the room," Fiona grinned again. She leaned forward and kissed Holly J softly.

Holly J smiled. "Now let's get some breakfast."

* * *

><p>The three girls sat around the kitchen counter, eating their bagels and locks.<p>

"So what're your plans for spring break?" Anya asked.

"Hm," Fiona pondered. "I don't know; I didn't really make any specific plans." Meanwhile Fiona contemplated a lot of enjoyable ways she could spend her time with Holly J without even leaving the loft over the break. Fiona glanced at Holly J and gave her a coy smile.

"Yeah, no plans here, either," Holly J commented, returning Fiona's look.

Anya looked back and forth between the two girls. "Okay, well, I just remembered that I have to be back home… now."

"Oh, really? That's a shame," Fiona said, not convincing anyone that she really thought it was a shame, while continuing to eye Holly J.

"Yeah, well, thanks for having me over," Anya said as she got up to grab her bag and her dress.

Holly J broke her gaze from Fiona. "See you, Anya. I'll call you later."

"Bye you two," Anya called from the doorway. "Have fun!"

As soon as the door closed behind her, Fiona shot over to Holly J. Holly J stood up and wrapped herself around Fiona while Fiona engulfed her mouth around Holly J's. Fiona pressed herself against her so powerfully that Holly J stumbled back and had to use the counter as support to keep herself upright. Fiona's hands roamed every inch of Holly J's back and she began to massage her butt with one hand and deviously inch her other underneath Holly J's blouse.

"Fiona," Holly J mumbled through their fervent kissing.

Fiona paused, catching her breath. "I'm sorry, too fast?"

"I don't want to stop," Holly J breathed heavily. "But I'm also not ready for everything right now. Maybe we should talk first."

"Ok, yeah, you're right," Fiona nodded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go so fast, I just want you so badly."

"There you go again, Fi, saying stuff that makes me want to jump on you," Holly J said, trying to restrain herself by holding onto the counter from doing just that.

Fiona grinned and also used what was left of her willpower to restrain herself from saying or doing anymore of the things on her mind. "Ok, let's talk," Fiona said.

Holly J walked into the living room and sat in an armchair and Fiona did the same across the room. It didn't need to be spoken that sitting next to each other probably wouldn't result in much talking.

"So," Holly J started. "Where do we begin?"

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Please review!<em>


	3. Fiona's Speech

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Fiona's Speech_

Fiona and Holly J stared at yeah other awkwardly. Fiona gave her a sheepish smile.

"OK, I guess I should start," Holly J sighed. "Fiona, this all so–" she paused "–_SO_ new to me and I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little scared."

"Well, I think that's normal," Fiona encouraged, feeling farther away from Holly J than ever. "I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable; I love you Holly J."

Holly J looked concerned. "That's just it; you love me, but I don't know how I feel about you. You know I love you as a friend, but I haven't had a chance to catch my breath, let alone sort out my very confusing feelings. You deserve to be with someone who is completely in love with you. You've been through so much and I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you." Holly J looked down, clearly distraught.

Fiona couldn't bare the space between them anymore, especially when Holly J was upset. She came over to Holly J's chair and kneeled beside it, grabbing her hand. "Holly J, you couldn't ever hurt me. You are the one thing in my life that has kept me going through everything. I've felt like an outsider for so long, but I feel like I can actually be myself around you."

"I think you give me too much credit, Fi," Holly J said. "I'm not so perfect."

"You are in my mind." Fiona looked into her eyes. "I used to be so insecure about almost everything. When you and Declan were first together, I was jealous just like I had been with all his other girlfriends. I didn't know exactly why back then, but it's clear now that it was because I wanted a girlfriend for myself. It was hard for me to comprehend at the time; all I knew clearly was that I thought it wasn't fair. It was so easy for him to have what he wanted. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and it made me so angry; I didn't know how to deal with it. So I tried dating a few boys because I thought I'd feel better, but it only made me feel worse. I only dated Riley because I knew he was gay, and by that point I'd had my suspicions about myself, although I was nowhere near acceptance; hence, I thought we'd be able to be each other's gay beards. Then, when you and Declan started to get close, I couldn't help it; I wanted what he had so badly: a beautiful, smart, independent girl and a nice, loving relationship. I'm not proud of the way I acted back then, but I was green with envy and, on top of that, fueled by champagne a lot of the time. I drank because I was angry and it was one of those quick fixes when I thought about how much I hated everything in my life. I was so cruel to you then, and it just made me hate myself more. I was angry at Declan for flaunting his relationship with you in front of me and so, impulsively, I kissed him, hoping that'd scare you away. Also, in my twisted way, I guess I was trying to make you feel the jealousy I felt. I know it's no excuse, but I was so confused about everything then. After that summer in New York, I wanted to change. So I tried to push away the thoughts that were just beginning to become clear to me, that I wanted to be with a girl. I tried dating Bobby, and, well, I don't need to tell you how that worked out. And when that went wrong and I continued to push away who I really was, I used champagne as an escape from it all, more than I ever had before. But Holly J, you pulled me out of it. You stuck with me; you were my friend through it all. I thought I could try to find a compromise in Adam, but all I could ever think about was you. So, I guess that's my long-winded way of telling you that we are always going to be friends."

"Wow," Holly J uttered, impressed with Fiona's honesty about everything.

"Yes, I do want to be more than friends," Fiona continued. "But if you don't, it's not going to hurt me; I'm just going to be thankful to have you as my best friend. And if we give it a shot and it doesn't work out, then we'll find a way to go back to being friends. I don't expect you to know how to feel yet. I've told you how preposterously long it took me."

Holy J smiled. "So you won't be upset if I think about it?"

"Of course not," Fiona ensured her.

"Thank you Fiona," Holly J held out her arms toward her and Fiona reciprocated with a hug. "I guess I should go home for a little while then."

"Alright." Fiona put on her strongest face. She helped Holly J collect her things and waved as she watched her walk down the hall of her building from her doorway.

Fiona took a deep breath. "You are standing in the doorway of your loft," she whispered to herself, reviewing her techniques. "…watching the love of your life walk away."

She turned around and shut the door behind her. Now was not a good time to be alone. Fiona went to the kitchen counter where her phone was charging and picked it up.

Three missed calls, all from the same person. She decided to reply with a text. 'Now's not a good time,' she typed and sent the message.

Fiona sat on the stool next to her. She looked to her left. She tried to convince herself that there was still hope; after all, just twenty minutes ago they'd been making out right in that spot.

Her phone buzzed, interrupting her thoughts. 'I'm worried about you, how about I come by?' the text read.

'I don't know,' Fiona replied back. She had a hard time saying no, but at the same time she didn't think it was such a good idea.

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><p><em>Who could Fiona be talking to? Please read and review!<em>


	4. The Visitor

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_The Visitor_

* * *

><p><em>Author's note: This chapter is a bit explicit so be aware before reading!<em>

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><p>Fiona mindlessly flipped through the channels on TV, sitting alone in her condo, early in the afternoon. After a few moments, she sighed and turned off the TV, collapsing on the couch.<p>

Fiona didn't want to let the old feelings in again, those feelings of anger and depression that used to plague her all the time. But today was day three of not hearing from Holly J and she was starting to have trouble keeping the feelings out. She could feel herself beginning to get anxious, so she went into the bathroom cabinet and took out her prescription, taking two of the Xanax as she was directed to do when she felt this way.

Fiona knew it would be at least an hour or so before she'd feel the calming effects of the drug so she decided now would be a good time to distract herself.

She walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her in case her mother decided to stop by. They had spent the day shopping together yesterday and then she had to leave for some business in New York, so she doubted her mom would come by today, but better safe than sorry.

Fiona lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She was feeling lonely, and although she knew this wouldn't make her feel any less alone, she also knew it would give her the short-lived spark of satisfaction she needed until her medicine kicked in. She began to drift into her fantasy world as she usually would – the world in which Holly J was central. Fiona's hand slowly swept against her shirt, over her breasts and stomach, and crept up her skirt as she began to softly massage herself while she imagined Holly J doing it for her. She pictured Holly J pressing her against the wall, whispering into her ear that she loved her. Next she saw Holly J stripping off her own clothes and then tearing off Fiona's while pressing her naked body against her, kissing her. Fiona began rubbing her clitoris vigorously as she pictured Holly J next licking her nipples and stroking her vagina. Fiona began to moan softly as she imagined Holly J's mouth traveling down from her breast, until she reached the point the Fiona continued to eagerly caress. She began to fondle her own breasts as she thought of Holly J grabbing them while she stirred her tongue inside of her. Fiona knew she was almost there, and indulged herself further into her fantasy.

"Yes," she groaned, thrusting her hips forward. "Oh Holly J!" Fiona howled, feeling the roll of her orgasm overcome her.

She collapsed onto the bed, momentarily satisfied. Her hand was tired so she let herself rest for a couple of minutes, while she stared at the ceiling.

A wave of loneliness resurfaced. Fiona sighed. She missed Holly J, not just physically, but she missed having her to talk to. So far this spring break was a letdown. Fiona considered whether or not she should have gone with her Mom in New York and maybe spend some time with Declan. But yesterday she had hope that Holly J would call or she would just show up at her door. Now that hope was starting to fade.

Fiona picked up her phone from her nightstand, scrolling through her messages. She found the one from a few days ago and called him.

"Hey, my long lost sister," Declan teased.

"Hey," Fiona said. "Sorry I haven't gotten back to you."

"It's fine, how are you doing?" Declan asked.

"Not so great, I'm by myself here and I could really use some company," Fiona sighed. "Do you still want to come visit?"

"Of course, Fi," Declan responded. "And I'm glad you called, my flight leaves in an hour."

"You and your surprise visits," she laughed. "But I'm glad you are coming, I've missed you."

"I missed you too, sis," Declan told her.

Fiona paused "But I guess I should be completely honest with you; I was avoiding talking to you because I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Mad at you?" Declan inquired. "I'm not mad at you; Mom told me everything you guys talked about. You should know that I support you no matter what."

"Thanks Declan," Fiona said hesitantly. "But did she tell you everything? Like that I'm in love with Holly J?"

There was silence on the phone for a second. "Hmm, guess she left that part out," he said steadily.

"I'm sorry, Declan; I know it's so weird, I just can't help how I feel." Fiona explained.

"It is weird," Declan agreed. "But I get it… I mean, Holly J is amazing. I of all people understand why you'd be in love with her. But it must be really hard on you to deal with the fact that she's not interested in girls."

"Well…" Fiona started, and then paused. She thought about telling him what had happened, but also considered the fact that Holly J had not contacted her in days and probably had come to the conclusion that they'd just remain friends. Maybe Declan didn't need to know that his twin sister actually told his ex-girlfriend how she felt and then actually made out with her. Now _that_ he'd be mad about.

"Yeah, it's tough," Fiona said, feeling guilty.

"Well, I'll be there soon, Fi," Declan said sympathetically. "We'll do whatever you want to make you feel better."

"Thanks Declan, can't wait to see you," Fiona replied, feeling like a terrible sister for keeping anything from him.

"Bye," he said. Fiona heard the phone beep, indicating the call had ended. She sighed, but despite feeling guilty, she was looking forward to spending time with him.

* * *

><p>There was a knock at her door. Fiona went to it and opened it, expecting Declan, but instead Holly J standing there in the hall, looking a bit windswept, but as beautiful as ever. It had been three long days since she last saw her and just looking at her gave Fiona butterflies. Certainly absence really did make the heart grow fonder.<p>

"Okay," Holly J said, taking a deep breath.

"Okay?" Fiona inquired, very confused.

"Okay, yes, I want to try." Holly J leaned forward and kissed Fiona softly on the lips.

"Oh!" Fiona exclaimed, an enormous smile spreading across her face.

"You were all I thought about these past three days," Holly J explained. "I missed you so much and I have just been dying to come over here and kiss you."

"Well then come on in and kiss me some more," Fiona beamed, grabbing Holly J around her waist and pulling her through the doorway, locking their lips.

Holly J dropped the purse she had been holding in the foyer and ran her fingers through Fiona's hair as they kissed passionately and staggered over toward the couch.

As they approached the couch, Holly J fell back onto it and Fiona climbed on top of her, instantly reuniting their mouths. Holly J put her arms around her and pulled her forward until the two were lying down sideways, wrapped around one another.

Holly J's hands roamed Fiona's back over her clothes, while Fiona's hands more daringly slid over Holly J's butt and she grasped it, smiling as she kissed her.

Holly J reciprocated by grabbing Fiona's butt, causing Fiona to giggle and begin kissing Holly J more fervently as her mouth began to travel down to her neck. She kissed her neck softly at first, then began lightly flicking her tongue back and forth on it.

"Oh Fi," Holly J moaned. "That feels nice."

Fiona smiled as she continued to kiss her. While her mouth was busy at her neck, her hands glided forward onto Holly J's breasts, cupping them. Fiona loved how they felt; it was better than she had ever imagined. She wanted to explore every inch of her body now that she finally had the chance. Fiona used her finger to gently rub her nipple, which she could feel harden through Holly J's shirt to her great delight.

Holly J moaned louder so Fiona knew she must've been doing something right. Holly J leaned forward and kissed her on the lips again, opening her mouth and inviting in Fiona's tongue. Holly J then kissed Fiona's ear and swirled her tongue around in it.

"Ohhh, Holly J," Fiona groaned, reminding her of when she had called out her name earlier in the day. The same feeling of pleasure was beginning to grow within her.

And then, in a split second the feeling was gone. The loud rapping on the door scared the ecstasy right out of her.

"Shit," Fiona whispered, pulling away from Holly J and sitting up on the couch.

"What?" Holly looked concerned. "Are you expecting someone?" She began to mirror Fiona, straightening herself up, fixing her hair, and smoothing out her clothes. Both girls stood up.

"Yeah," Fiona said, quickly checking herself with her makeup case that was sitting on the table nearby. "I'm sorry, it totally slipped my mind. It's Declan."

"Oh," Holly J looked a bit dumbfounded. She sat down on the couch, most likely due to surprise.

"Yeah, I know," Fiona empathized, sitting next to her. "I know it's weird. He was coming to visit me because he was worried about me, but I didn't tell him anything about us because I didn't know what was going to happen and then you come over here look all hot and telling me you want to try and I just totally forget he was coming. What are you feeling?"

Holly J made a confused face. "Like I was just fooling around with his sister."

Declan knocked again. "Fiona, are you in there?" he shouted through the door.

"Sorry, be right there!" Fiona shouted back. She looked at Holly J. "I'm sorry, but I really have to let him in now I think." She went to the door and opened it.

"Finally," Declan said, smiling. With his duffle bag in hand, he gave Fiona a hug in the doorway.

As they walked in, Declan looked over at the couch where Holly J sat upright.

"Hey Declan," she said uneasily.

He stared at her for a moment, and then smiled. "Hey Holly J."

* * *

><p><em>Hope you enjoyed! Please Review!<em>


	5. What If

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_What If_

* * *

><p>Fiona looked back and both between her brother and Holly J. There was an eerily familiar pang of jealousy in her stomach. She hated feeling this way.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Declan asked with a smile, walking toward Holly J.

"Oh she just stopped by," Fiona answered for her quickly.

Declan sat down next about a foot away from Holly J on the couch, but his eyes didn't leave her as he placed his bag on the floor.

"Yeah, I-I just came to check on Fiona, I… um, hadn't heard from her in a couple days," Holly J stumbled over her words, evading Declan's intense gaze by looking down.

"Well aren't you thoughtful," Declan smirked, his eyes still glued to her. Holly J glanced up at him and blushed.

Fiona felt another pang in her stomach. She took the opportunity to end their little reunion by squeezing herself into the space on the couch between them.

"Whoa, Fi, sitting a little close there, aren't we?" Declan said, scooting over to make room for her. Holly J moved over too, to Fiona's disappointment.

"I just missed you both," Fiona defended her actions, putting one arm around Declan's shoulder and the other around Holly J. She looked at her meaningfully, wishing that she could put her at ease. Fiona could tell Holly J was uncomfortable and it was making all of Fiona's insecurities slowly filter back.

Fiona withdrew her arms from around both of them. "So what are we going to do today?" she asked.

"I think I've actually got to get going," Holly J mumbled, still not making eye contact.

Declan and Fiona both looked disappointed as she stood up.

"Well, it was really good seeing you, Holly J," Declan smiled and stood up with her.

"Yeah, you too," Holly J distractedly agreed as she looked around for her purse, which she spotted near the door where she had dropped it.

She walked over and picked it up. "I'll call you later Fi, ok?" Holly J finally tried to make eye contact with her, but Fiona didn't look up.

"Alright," Fiona sighed, staring at the floor. Holly J waited a few seconds for her to look up but when Fiona didn't move, she then opened the door to leave. Declan waved her goodbye and shut the door behind her.

He walked back over to Fiona, who was still sitting on the couch. "What was that about? Are you and Holly J ok?" he asked, concerned.

Fiona's head snapped up. She had let her sadness take over her for a second and had almost forgotten about the importance of keeping up her charade. It was clear that Declan still had feeling for Holly J, though she doubted that anyone could feel as intensely as she did about her. She longed to be alone with her just for a few minutes so they could talk about what just happened, but with her brother in town she didn't know when she'd next be able to see her.

Fiona forced a smile. "Oh, it's nothing. This is better anyway, just me and you. Let's go out. How about we go downtown for dinner?"

Declan gave her a look when told her he knew she was hiding something, but he didn't press her. "Yeah, that sounds good," he agreed.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day and Fiona was exhausted from faking a good mood. Of course she enjoyed spending time with her brother, but all through dinner, walking through town, and coffee, all she could think about was making things right with Holly J. Fiona sat down on her bed listening to the lyrics of the Coldplay song Declan was playing in the other room.<p>

_What if there was no lie  
>Nothing wrong, nothing right<br>What if there was no time  
>And no reason, or rhyme<br>What if you should decide  
>That you don't want me there by your side<br>That you don't want me there in your life  
>What if I got it wrong<br>And no poem or song  
>Could put right what I got wrong<br>Or make you feel I belong_

_What if you should decide_  
><em>That you don't want me there by your side<em>  
><em>That you don't want me there in your life<em>

She didn't appreciate how true they rang for her at this moment. "Hey Declan, can you turn that down?" What if Holly J had changed her mind? She certainly had clammed up when Declan had showed up. Fiona's biggest fear was losing Holly J to her brother; she didn't know if she could handle it.

"Oh sure, sorry Fi," he said and grabbed the remote for the stereo.

She stood up and came over to the sofa where he was sitting and reading. He glanced up at her. "You ready to talk now?"

She sat down next to him. "Yeah."

He closed his book and put it down on the table. "So you've been distracted all day. Is it about Holly J?" he inquired.

Fiona nodded.

"Did something happen between you two earlier today?" he asked.

"No," Fiona bit her lip. She wanted to come clean, but in addition to wanting to protect herself, she didn't know if Holly J would be alright with her disclosing anything to Declan either. "I'm just afraid things are going to get weird between us since she found out I'm in love with her." This really was a concern Fiona was having and it was the only way she could think to talk to him without telling him everything that had happened.

Declan looked surprised. "How'd she find out?"

"Anya told her," Fiona said. "She figured it out on her own; I guess I was obvious."

"I'm sorry, Fi, that's tough," he sympathized with her, making her feel that much more guilty.

Fiona looked at him appreciatively, but was angry at herself. Her pocket began buzzing and so she pulled out her phone. It was Holly J calling.

"Thanks, Declan," she gave him a small smirk. "I've got to get this though." She walked into her bedroom and slid the door closed before she answered the phone.

"Hey," she spoke softly, sitting on the end of her bed.

"Hey Fiona," Holly J said. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I'm up. I was just talking to Declan and came in my bedroom when you called." Fiona told her.

"So you're alone?" Holly J asked.

"Yes," Fiona assured her.

"I'm so sorry about earlier." Holly J explained. "Everything just became real so quickly… I didn't mean to just run off like that. I thought this was something we'd keep between us for now, and I just got freaked out when Declan showed up."

"So you haven't changed your mind about us?" Fiona asked hopefully, while twirling a lock of her hair around her finger.

"No, not at all," Holly J sounded confident in her response and Fiona grinned widely.

"I wish I could see you now; I thought about you all day," Fiona told her honestly.

"Me too," Holly J agreed. "But with Declan there…" she trailed off.

"I know," Fiona frowned. "It's really bad timing. But I also feel bad keeping this from him. He knows how I feel about you, but I haven't told him anything that's happened between us."

"Let's keep it like that for now." Holly J insisted. "I feel guilty too, but he'll be furious with both of us if we tell him and that'll just make things worse."

"Maybe you're right," Fiona sighed. "But he's going to be here a few more days. How will we see each other?"

"I know; I don't want to have to wait that long either, but…" Holly J said yearningly.

Fiona felt herself getting hot at the tone of Holly J's voice. "Come over tonight," she cut her off and suggested. "I'll give Declan my room and we can wait until he's asleep."

"I don't know…" Holly J said hesitantly.

"Please, Holly J," Fiona pleaded. "I need to see you."

"Alright," she gave in. "Text me when he's asleep."

Fiona hung up and smiled mischievously. Her feelings of guilt were now clouded by her elated anticipation of seeing Holly J.

* * *

><p><em>Please read and review! This chapter is a little slow but I promise the next one will make up for it!<em>


	6. Secret Rendezvous

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Secret Rendezvous_

* * *

><p>Fiona and Declan sat on the couch, him reading and her watching him read, while pretending to be watching T.V.<p>

Declan yawned.

"Hey, if you're getting tired, you can take my bedroom tonight," Fiona offered. "I'd rather stay up and watch T.V. for a while."

"You sure?" he asked. "I don't want to take your bed from you."

"Don't worry about it," Fiona waved him off. "I like sleeping on the couch sometimes."

"Ok, thanks; then I guess I'll turn in," he said, grabbing his bag and heading into her room. "Goodnight."

"Night, Declan," she said as nonchalantly as she could muster.

As soon as he shut her bedroom door, Fiona immediately pulled out her phone to text Holly J.

'Be there soon. Can't wait to see you.' Holly J replied.

Fiona felt butterflies in her stomach just thinking about Holly J coming over. So far everything that had happened between them had been spontaneous, but Fiona had a better idea of what to expect this time and it made her nervous.

Fiona scurried into the bathroom where she had stashed some clothes. She couldn't decide what to wear, so she first freshened up her make-up and styled her hair. Then it was back to figuring out what to wear. She slipped on her finest black lace panties and matching bra. She thought about leaving it at that, but didn't want to take the risk of scaring Holly J away. Finally she settled on a fitted black skirt and blue ruffled top which she accessorized with plenty of jewelry.

Her phone buzzed on the countertop of the sink.

'I'm outside your door :)' Holly J's text read.

Fiona grabbed the phone and hurried to the door, her heart racing. She took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hey." The two girls stood in front of each other with matching grins. "Come in," Fiona invited.

"Why thank you Ms. Coyne," Holly J said playfully, and gave a Fiona a silly curtsy.

Fiona took both of Holly J's hands and led her into the loft. She walked backward a few steps and turned around, letting go of one hand and pulling her with the other to the couch.

The two sat down wordlessly next to each other, knees turned toward one another. Fiona felt more nervous than the first time they had kissed. Maybe because she had time to premeditate this or maybe it was because it felt like she had invited Holly J over for a booty call. She didn't know how far things would go and that made her nervous… excitedly nervous. But her nerves weren't going to stop her; this was her chance.

"You look really pretty," Fiona said boldly, while staring right into Holly J's eyes. Fiona reached forward and coiled a lock of her strawberry hair around her finger.

Holly J bit her lip shyly. "You look pretty too."

Fiona leaned forward slowly, her lips pursed. Holly J greeted her lips with fervor.

And with that they began grabbing at each other and rubbing their hands all over. Fiona felt every inch of her back while Holly J explored her waist and thigh. They mouths moved constantly with one another, tongues darting and swirling within the other's mouth.

Fiona pressed her body against Holly J with enough force to cause Holly J to fall backward on the couch. Fiona crawled on top of her and burrowed her face into Holly J's neck, licking and sucking lightly while she cupped her breasts in her hands.

"It tickles," Holly J smiled and then moaned, indicating her liking. She had both arms wrapped around Fiona, clutching her tightly. She crept her hand under her shirt, feeling her soft skin.

Fiona was delighted that Holly J had shown an interest underneath her clothes. She paused her nuzzling to sit up momentarily and undo her own blouse down to the last button, then opened it, revealing her intricately beautiful lace bra. Fiona continued by slipping the shirt off her shoulders and tossed it aside.

Holly J watched her carefully as she removed her shirt and stared at her breasts. "Wow," she admired.

Fiona gleamed. "Can I?" she asked, motioning to Holly J's shirt. Holly J nodded.

Fiona took Holly J's shirt from the bottom and slowly pulled it up over her head, revealing her breasts clad in a purple bra with gold decorations. Fiona had never seen anything so luscious. "You're even more gorgeous than I imagined," she told her.

Holly J blushed and looked down for a moment, but when Fiona kissed her again, it was Holly J who pulled Fiona back on top of her. Fiona massaged her breasts while Holly J kneaded her shoulders. Fiona lowered her kisses and trailed down to Holly J's chest, kissing the skin above the line of her bra. She felt her back, searching for the clasp of her bra and unlatched it, then looked up at Holly J to gauge her reaction before removing it.

Holly J looked at her timidly, and Fiona peeled the bra away. She took a moment to unabashedly gaze at her perfectly rounded breasts before she leaned forward and tasted them, flitting her tongue across her nipples quickly and switching from breast to breast while massaging the other with her hand.

"Fiona," Holly J moaned very quietly. "That feels good."

While Fiona obsessively focused on Holly J's breasts, Holly J reached for her bra clasp and unhooked it. Holly J cupped Fiona's naked breasts then used her thumb to rub her nipples lightly.

Fiona lifted her head and gasped in pleasure. "Oh Holly J," she said, looking up at her. "That feels amazing."

Holly J then sat up and took Fiona's breast in her mouth. Fiona moaned loudly.

Holly J then kissed her way back up Fiona's chest to her neck and the two passionately sucked on each other's lips, while pressing their naked chests against each other.

Fiona loved the soft, warm feel of Holly J's breasts against hers.

Fiona ran her fingers through Holly J's hair and started to think about what part of her she wanted to explore next.

"Oh my god!"

The angry voice startled the girls and they immediately broke their kiss, turning to see where it came from.

Declan stood in the open doorway of Fiona's bedroom, stunned.

Fiona and Holly J looked horrified.

"Declan!" Fiona shrieked, grabbing for her shirt on the ground while also trying to cover herself. Holly J pulled her shirt over her head as quickly as humanly possible while Fiona struggled to button herself up.

"I can't believe this," Declan muttered to himself, clutching his face with his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Declan," Fiona told him sincerely. Her forehead wrinkled in concern, like it did before she was about to cry.

"You're sorry?" he asked, still in disbelief.

"I'm a terrible sister," she whimpered, a tear running down her cheek.

Declan was silent for what felt like hours to Fiona. He finally gazed up his ex-girlfriend. "How could you, Holly J?"

Holly J looked down, embarrassed, but said nothing.

"I've got to get out of here," Declan said, pacing back and forth.

"Wait, Declan, don't leave!" Fiona pleaded. "I know I'm horrible but can we just talk for a minute?"

"You don't have to go Declan, I will," Holly J volunteered, gathering her things from the floor. "I'm really sorry."

Fiona looked at Holly J, and nodded for her to go. The instant the door closed behind her, Declan erupted in anger.

"Okay, fine, Fiona! Let's talk!" he bellowed. "Explain this to me, now!"

Fiona broke down into tears. "I love her; I think about her all the time. She's my best friend, but I wanted more, so I…" Fiona trailed off, searching for the right words.

"Yes?" Declan demanded she continue, without sympathy.

Fiona looked ashamed of herself. "I-I came onto her," she stammered nervously. "I told her how I felt about her and she kissed me. After that, I couldn't help it… I just wanted her so badly; I didn't think about how angry you'd be… I just thought about how good it felt." Fiona stood up, wiped away her tears, and continued. "I know I'm selfish and I shouldn't have lied to you, but it isn't fair that I can't be with her!"

"Well this isn't fair to me either!" Declan yelled back. "You're my sister! You aren't supposed to steal my girlfriend!"

"You aren't with Holly J anymore!" Fiona shouted.

"That doesn't mean you can just disregard my feelings, Fiona!" Declan shouted. "You didn't even try to hide it from me; you just wanted to win against me! It's all a competition to you, isn't?"

"No–" Fiona started, but Declan cut her off.

"Why else would you do this while I'm staying with you? You wanted me to catch you, didn't you? Why else would you be so loud when I'm right in the next room?" he accused.

"Declan, I didn't mean–" Fiona tried again to explain.

"No, I don't want to hear your excuses," he shut her down. "I'm out of here." He went into the bedroom and started throwing his clothes hastily into his bag.

Fiona followed him and watched him from the doorway of her room. "You're my brother, Declan. I promise I never meant to intentionally hurt you," she said quietly.

He paused and looked up at her. "That may be true, Fiona," he glared at her. "But you still hurt me. I thought things would be different now that you've figured some things out about yourself. I thought you'd stop punishing me for your unhappiness. But here we are again. I'm done." He zipped his bag and swung it over his shoulder.

Fiona watched him walk out without another word, tears streaming down her face. It's true she had sabotaged him so many times in their past. How could she expect him to forgive her this time?

She went to her phone and dialed Holly J. The rings droned in her ears and lead to "Hey, you've reached Holly J's voicemail, please leave me a–"

Fiona hung up. "Where are you, Holly J?" she asked herself. She walked to her window and looked out onto the street in front of her building.

Her question was answered.

* * *

><p><em>What's Holly J doing outside? Please Review!<em>


	7. Relapse

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Relapse_

* * *

><p>Fiona's mouth opened slightly in astonishment, as she stared down from her window at Holly J and Declan standing outside her building, facing each other. Fiona squinted and looked closer. Were they holding hands?<p>

She felt that pang again, but this time it was in her chest, and this time it was anger.

Fiona was upset about hurting Declan, but she was able to keep it together because she thought she still had Holly J. But looking down at the two of them, obviously engaged in deep conversation and holding hands, she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep it together.

She needed to do something; her anger was just getting stronger as she stared at them. She threw her cell phone across the room, and Fiona watched as it fell apart when it hit her chair. She hoped it would bring her some sort of relief, but it didn't.

She wanted a drink. Fiona hated this feeling most of all; she was feeling like she was losing control. She was afraid, because just as much as she didn't want to drink, she wanted to drink. It was like a battle inside her.

Fiona broke down. She fell to the floor and sat, hands covering her face, in tears. After a few minutes, she crawled over to where her phone lay, regretting having thrown it. She put the pieces back together and felt brief relief as it turned on.

She pushed herself up off the floor and walked to the window again. Declan and Holly J were gone.

Fiona couldn't think clearly. Were Holly J and Declan off somewhere together? She dreaded the thought. She had to get out of the loft and clear her mind.

Fiona grabbed her Degrassi sweatshirt and keys and left the apartment. It was late, almost midnight and she didn't know where she was going. She walked for about fifteen minutes until she passed what she feared, a wine bar.

Fiona stood frozen in front of the entrance for a moment. She wanted to go in and she wanted to leave just as badly.

* * *

><p>Holly J heard a noise, waking her from her slumber. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at her clock.<p>

2:48 AM. What was that noise?

She heard it again; it sounded like a light tapping, coming from her window. Holly J got out of bed and went to the window to see what it was. She pulled her curtain aside to reveal Fiona standing in her yard.

Holly J slid her window open.

"Fiona, what are you doing here?" Holly J hissed.

"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!" Fiona called up with a large smile.

"Shhh," Holly J whispered. "What's going on?"

"Come down here, Holly J! I love you!" Fiona shouted. She twirled around in the yard, arms outstretched.

"Quieter, Fiona. I'll be down in a minute," Holly J said disappointedly.

Fiona hopped in place excitedly. She didn't notice Holly J's concerned expression.

Holly J softly shut the back door behind her. Fiona scurried over to her and kissed her lips before her feet even stopped moving. She pulled away to steady herself, smiling.

"That's what I thought," Holly J shook her head. "Champagne breath."

Fiona's smiled faded quickly. "Uh, um–" Fiona stuttered.

"How could you, Fiona?" Holly J insisted.

"I-I'm fine, Holly J," Fiona slurred.

"You're not," Holly J said sternly.

Fiona put her arms around Holly J's waist. Holly J took her wrists and unwrapped her arms from around her.

"So you really don't want me anymore then?" Fiona raised her voice accusingly, incensed. She backed away from Holly J.

"Fiona, I never said–" Holly J started firmly.

"I saw you and Declan, Holly J!" Fiona yelled angrily. "How could you do this to _me_? What'd you do after you left, Holly J, huh? Come over my apartment to feel me up and then go off and have sex with my brother?"

"Fiona, No!" Holly J defended, obviously hurt and insulted. "How could you think I would do that?"

"Well, being with someone else hasn't stopped you from sleeping with him before, has it?" Fiona said matter-of-factly, arms crossed.

"Go home, Fiona," Holly J instructed her angrily. "You're drunk and you're saying things you're going to regret."

"So if I'm wrong, why aren't you telling me what really happened then?" Fiona tested her.

"Because I shouldn't have to, Fiona! The only dishonest thing I did was when I hurt Declan by being with you. I knowingly made that sacrifice, knowing I could never be with him again, because I wanted to be with you, Fiona. But either way, I hurt him–we hurt him. So I was comforting him outside your apartment, OK?"

Fiona guiltily looked down. She walked toward her and tried to reach out to hug her, but Holly J raised her arms to prevent it. "No, Fiona. It's not OK. You can't just go back to drinking because you jumped to conclusions."

"I'm so sorry, Holly J," Fiona began to tear up. "This will be the last time I drink, I promise. And I won't accuse you of anything ever again. You're wonderful; I know that you'd never do that to me. I'm just so insecure, I-I always mess everything up." Fiona fell to her knees and wept.

"I know, Fi," Holly J sympathized, despite her anger. She kneeled down next to Fiona and put her arm around her. "And I hope that it doesn't ever happen again. But you did drink tonight. And you did accuse me of doing something horrible. You hurt me, Fi, I can't just ignore that."

"But I love you so much," Fiona sobbed. "What can I do to fix it? I'll do anything!"

"I don't know, Fiona," Holly J solemnly. "Let's go inside and we'll talk after you sleep it off."

Holly J helped Fiona up off the ground and into her apartment. Once they had snuck into her room, Holly J took off Fiona's shoes and assisted her into the bed.

"Please tell me we're not over, Holly J," Fiona begged her groggily. "I need you."

Holly J sighed. "Go to sleep, Fiona." She slipped into bed beside her and kissed her on the forehead. Holly J stroked Fiona's hair for a few moments and she could tell from her breathing that Fiona had already fallen asleep. She couldn't understand how she could be so upset with the girl lying next to her and yet want to hold her at the same time.

"What am I going to do?" Holly J whispered to herself.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks to everyone who has been reading! Please review and let me know what you think! Also, I know the drinking age in Canada is 19, but I thought I'd add a note that I'm assuming Fiona has a fake ID to get into the bar since she was able to get ahold of all that champagne in past seasons. <em>


	8. Aftermath

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Aftermath_

* * *

><p>Fiona awoke with a throbbing headache. It was all too familiar. Within seconds last night's memories came back to her, and she knew they were not a dream because of the reminder pain in her forehead.<p>

She sat up slowly, and looked around the room for Holly J. She was nowhere to be found.

"Shit," Fiona groaned, clutching her head. "I've ruined everything."

Fiona got out of Holly J's bed and noticed a note taped to her mirror.

She peeled it off the mirror. 'Let's meet at the Dot at 1– we'll talk. –HJ'

Fiona sighed. She figured this was a bad sign; they could've talked here. After all, she was in Holly J's apartment.

She found her shoes next to the bed and quickly washed her face in the bathroom.

She slipped out the back door after calling a cab to take her back to her loft.

As Fiona rode in the cab, she contemplated what she could possibly say to Holly J to make up for what she had done last night. Fiona also was worried about what drinking last night really meant. Was she completely off the bandwagon? Or could it just be a one time slip-up? Coming up with no ideas or answers, Fiona's head ached even more than when she had woken up.

After she showered, fixed her hair, did her make-up, and popped a few Advil, Fiona's headache began to subside. She decided to head over to the Dot early simply to be around people so she wasn't alone with her thoughts any longer.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Holly J said coolly, joining Fiona at the table where she was sitting.<p>

"Hi Holly J," Fiona replied, with a hesitant look on her face. She took a sip of her latte, which was almost empty.

"Been here long?" Holly J asked, noticing her cup.

"I came early," Fiona said softly.

The two sat in silence for a few moments.

"I just want to apologize, Holly J. I was so wrong in everything I did and said last night. I can understand if you have reconsidered things," Fiona told her earnestly.

Holly J's eyebrows wrinkled in distress. "I think it might be for the best, Fi. I'm sorry."

Fiona tried to keep her face from showing her misery, but she was sure she couldn't hide it completely. "We'll still hang out as friends, right?" She tried to sound as positive as possible.

"Of course," Holly J assured her, and reached out and placed her hand on Fiona's. "I've got to meet my mom this afternoon, but how about we have a movie and sleepover tonight? Just like old times."

"Sounds good," Fiona nodded.

Holly J stood up. "Great," she smiled softly. "I've got to get going, but I'll be over tonight. See you then."

Fiona watched her walk out of the Dot and gave her a small wave through the window. She sighed, trying not to let her sadness overcome her. She tried to focus on the good–at least they would still be friends.

Fiona took out her phone and dialed Declan. He didn't answer, but she hadn't expected him to.

"Hey Declan, it's me," Fiona began her voicemail message. "I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now, but I'm so sorry for how I've treated you. I thought you should be the first to know that it's over between Holly J and me, so maybe you can forgive me? I know I don't deserve it Declan, but I really am sorry. Please call me, bye."

Fiona put away her phone and got out her wallet to pay for her latte when Anya walked in the door.

"Hey Fiona!" she greeted her happily.

"Hey Anya," Fiona replied, not quite matching her enthusiasm.

Anya walked over and sat in Holly J's seat. "What's wrong? What happened between you and Holly J?"

"Why do you have to be so good at picking up on everything?" Fiona asked, half joking, half exasperated.

"Maybe you're just easy to read," Anya teased. "So spill."

"Have you talked to Holly J at all?" Fiona inquired, trying to avoid having to tell her the whole story.

"Yeah, I met up with her yesterday evening for dinner, after Declan showed up at your place. She told me she felt guilty and uncomfortable around him, but she gave me the impression that things were pretty damn good between you two. But clearly something's happened since then."

"Yeah…" Fiona trailed off, sighing. "My insane jealousy and uncontrollable impulses are what happened."

"Huh?" Anya looked confused.

"So last night Holly J and I were… kissing and Declan caught us." Fiona elaborated.

Anya's eye widened in surprise and she nodded for Fiona to continue.

"He was, of course, angry and Holly J left so he and I could talk. But he didn't want to talk to me, so he left too and then I saw them outside talking to each other and I don't know… I guess I thought she and Declan were going to get back together or something. I jumped to conclusions, as always, when I saw them holding hands." Fiona rambled.

"So what did you do?" Anya asked, enthralled by Fiona's story.

"I stupidly went out and got drunk, then showed up at Holly J's apartment in the middle of the night." Fiona told her.

"Oh my god!" Anya reacted in disbelief. "And she was mad at you for drinking?"

"Yeah," Fiona said. "I'm just as mad at myself. But of course I had to sabotage myself further by drunkenly accusing her of sleeping with Declan."

"Oh no!" Anya exclaimed. "Holly J must be really angry. I'm so sorry Fiona, that's awful."

"Well, I guess she's mad," Fiona agreed. "But she seemed so calm when we talked today."

"Oh really?" Anya looked hopeful. "What'd she say?"

Fiona looked miserable and averted her gaze from Anya. I was too painful to look at her optimistic expression while she told her what had happened. "We–she ended it."

"Oh Fiona," Anya reached out her hand to her just as Holly J had earlier.

Fiona pulled away only because the reminder made it hurt more. She was using all her strength not to cry. "She still wants to hang out as friends," Fiona added, trying to reassure Anya and herself that everything was going to be okay.

Anya looked at Fiona sympathetically. "That's good. I know that isn't what you want right now, but I'm really glad that you can remain friends."

"Me too," Fiona sighed, not conveying very well that it was really what she wanted. "She even wants to do a movie and sleepover tonight."

"Wow, that's great," Anya looked surprised.

"Do you want to come?" Fiona asked hesitantly. "It might take the pressure off and make things easier if you're there."

Anya smiled uneasily. "Oh, um…" she started.

"I know you're afraid it's going to be awkward. But I really think it'll be much less awkward if you come," Fiona encouraged.

"Oh, alright," Anya gave in.

"Thank you Anya! You're a life saver!" Fiona smiled for the first time all day.

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><p>There was a knock at Fiona's door. She hoped it would be Anya so she and Holly J wouldn't have to be alone together.<p>

She opened the door. No such luck. Holly J looked very pretty and also very uncomfortable.

"Um, hi!" Holly J said, feigning enthusiasm.

"Hey," Fiona replied. "Come on in." She lightly pushed the door to close it after Holly J had walked through the frame, but it didn't latch. Both girls were so occupied with nervousness that they didn't notice.

The two walked silently over to the couch and sat. There was obvious tension in the air, but neither of them knew how to get rid of it.

Fiona's phone beeped and so she pulled it out to check her text message. It was from Declan. 'I'm still too angry to talk. But Holly J made it clear she really cares about you and wants to be with you. And I do want you both to be happy. So make it work with her.'

Fiona sighed. If only it was that easy. She avoided looking at Holly J. "So what movie should we watch?"

"Fiona," Holly J said, in an attempt to engage her.

Fiona turned toward her and looked her straight in the eyes. She couldn't muster the strength to hide the agony in her eyes and she knew Holly J would be able to see everything she was feeling.

Holly J swooped forward and kissed her. Fiona was stunned for a moment but quickly and eagerly began to kiss Holly J back. They rolled back onto the couch, and Holly J, wasting no time, initiated the removal of clothes. She tore off Fiona's shirt hastily and began sucking her neck and massaging her breasts in her hands. Fiona slipped her hands under Holly J's shirt in response, and pulled her shirt over her head delicately.

Everything was happening so fast that Fiona couldn't think. She wanted to be sure that this was what Holly J really wanted, but she didn't want to risk stopping her to ask and possibly sacrifice this last time together.

"Hey guys, I figured I'd just come in since the door was cracked open. I brought–" Anya voice carried from the entrance. "Ahh!" she added, after coming upon the couple on the couch.

"Oh my god, Anya," Holly J yelped, leaping up off of Fiona. She grabbed the blanket folded up on the corner of the couch and covered herself with it, then offered the rest of it to Fiona. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Fiona invited me to make things less awkward," Anya stated ironically. "I must say, I did expect things to be uncomfortable, but kind of in a different way." She laughed.

"I'm sorry, Anya," Fiona said, embarrassed. "It just kind of happened."

"Ok, well I'm going to head out then," Anya decided, chuckling. "Pretty sure it'll be less awkward when I'm gone. And don't worry; I'll close the door so you won't have any more interruptions!" Anya walked out of the apartment. "Carry on!" she yelled before she closed the door behind her.

Fiona and Holly J looked at one another.

"So you're probably wondering why I told you it's over and then kissed you." Holly J guessed.

"Well, just so you know I'm okay with it," Fiona giggled. "But yeah, maybe I'm a little curious."

"Well, that's why I wanted to meet you at the Dot, so we'd be in public and I could think rationally." Holly J told her.

"Oh," Fiona surmised where Holly J was going with this. "So then this was you thinking illogically."

"Maybe," said Holly J. "But then after I left you at the Dot, and I felt absolutely miserable, I realized something. Love isn't supposed to be rational, is it?"

"Love?" Fiona queried, wide-eyed.

"Yeah, love." Holly J took a deep breath. "I love you, Fiona."

"I love you too, Holly J!" Fiona shouted gleefully. She threw her arms around Holly J and hugged her tight. Then Fiona kissed her deeply and the two picked up where they left off, throwing the blanket aside.

And this time they weren't interrupted.

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><p>THE END<p>

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><p><em>Please review to let me know what you think of the ending! I thought about writing out the implied lemon at the end of this chapter, but decided against it. Let me know if you think I should add it or if you prefer it ending like it did. Thanks so much for all your feedback!<em>


	9. Epilogue

**AFTER THE DANCE**

_Epilogue _

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><p><em>Here is the "more detailed" and lemony version of the end of the story, as requested. Sorry it took a while; I lacked inspiration, which I gained back through watching lots of episodes of Degrassi. Like…Chasing Pavements over and over again <em>

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><p>Holly J enthusiastically kissed Fiona back.<p>

Fiona ran her hands through Holly J's hair and down her back. She clutched Holly J tightly and pulled her body into her own, until there was no remaining space between them. Holly J moaned into the kiss and slid her tongue playfully through Fiona's lips. Fiona slid her fingertips to the center of Holly J's back and unhinged her bra, then slowly slid her fingers to the strap, peeling it off of her.

Holly J mirrored Fiona's movements, removing the satin straps from Fiona's shoulders one at a time.

Fiona arched her back, and the warmth of her skin grew hot as she pushed her breasts against Holly J's. Holly J began to kiss Fiona's neck and fiddled with her breasts. Fiona's breathing became ragged.

Fiona sunk backward and Holly J fell with her, on top of her. Fiona tilted her head to reach Holly J's lips, kissed her hard and grabbed her ass.

"Fiona," Holly J breathed coyly.

Fiona smiled, looked up into Holly J's eyes. "You're so sexy, Holly J."

Holly J blushed, and then continued the kiss. Fiona slid her hands around Holly J's waist, to the button on her jeans. After a glance up at Holly J, she undid it. Without a second thought, her jeans were on the floor, followed quickly by Fiona's pleated skirt.

Fiona now laid on top of Holly J, her hand on her waist, fiddling with the top of Holly J's panties. She kissed her deeply. Holly J ran her fingers over Fiona's ass, feeling the soft fabric of her underwear.

Fiona broke the kiss for an instant, but stayed close to Holly J's lips. "Are we really going to do this?" Fiona smiled and sounded eager, but Holly J could sense her nervousness.

Holly J looked somewhat surprised at Fiona's hesitation. "Not if you don't want to."

"Oh, I want to. I really want to," Fiona assured her. "Believe me, I really, _really–_"

"I think I got it," Holly J smirked.

Fiona broke her gaze. "I'm just a little nervous," she admitted, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I mean, I've never done this before."

Holly J grabbed her hand. "Me too," she exhaled. "I'm _so_ nervous right now, Fi. But it's a good nervous," she paused. "And this is kind of new for me too," she chuckled. "But I know that I love you. And it–it feels right."

"I love you so much, Holly J. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better. And nothing has ever felt more right to me in life." Fiona leaned in and kissed her lightly. She brought both her hands to Holly J's waist and pulled her panties down, then dropped them to the ground, in awe of Holly J's completely naked body. "You're beautiful."

Holly J removed Fiona's last piece of clothing. "You–you're luminous."

Fiona grinned. She was reminded of a dream she once had. Only this time, it was somehow real. She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Holly J's neck, then one on her collar bone. She travelled down and kissed her breast and continued until she was between her legs. Fiona teasingly drew her finger up her thigh. Holly J squirmed, feeling ticklish.

Fiona leaned her head forward and Holly J let out a moan. Holly closed her eyes and clutched the couch cushions, enjoying Fiona's tongue flitting inside her. Fiona's hands snuck over Holly J's stomach to massage her breasts at the same time. Holly J could feel the warmth within her building up, and was breathing heavily in anticipation. "Yes, Fiona, yes…" she moaned encouragingly.

Fiona felt Holly J overflow with shivers as she exhaled, shaking in pleasure. Fiona pulled her lips away, and looked up at Holly. After watching Holly J's breast heave for a moment, Fiona spoke. "How was that?" she asked, hopefully.

"Amazing," Holly J gleamed, still breathing deeply. Fiona beamed in return. "Now get over here." Holly J grabbed Fiona's arm and pulled her up toward her face, kissing her intensely.

"You're turn," Holly J told her. She slid her hands slowly down Fiona's body. Fiona was shaking. "Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm just excited," Fiona bit her lip in embarrassment. Holly J grinned. She pushed Fiona back on the couch and positioned her legs around her. She lightly rubbed Fiona's clit with two of her fingers. Fiona groaned. Holly J leaned down and licked where her fingers had just been, just once.

"Ahhohhh…" Fiona moaned.

"Wow, you're already so… ready," Holly J commented slyly.

"Yeah, well, when you got off, it… really turned me on," Fiona admitted, blushing.

Holly J smiled, and then leaned down again without another word. She pressed her lips on Fiona's opening and delved her tongue within her. "Oh!" Fiona gasped, squeezing Holly J's hand and tensing her toes. The heat from Holly J's tongue felt so incredible that it seemed as though it was just seconds before she could feeling it coming. "Oh Holly J!" she groaned in desire as her orgasm washed over her whole body.

"Wow," Fiona took a deep breath. Holly J crawled up and looked into her eyes, resting her arms on her chest. Fiona's hair was sprawled out all over the couch. Holly J has never seen her look more beautiful.

"I know, for me too," Holly J agreed, laying her head down next to Fiona's. Fiona wrapped her arms around Holly J and they held each other tenderly.

"So, what did you think?" Holly J raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Best–thing–ever," Fiona emphasized elatedly.

Holly J smirked. "Oh Fi, you are adorable." And she kissed her once more.

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><p><em>REALLY<em> THE END

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><p><em>Thanks for reading and pretty please review!<em>


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